The Diary of a Teenage Orphan
by elliecookie
Summary: My name is Esme. Ever since my parents died in a car crash, my sister is the closest person I've got...even though she hates me. I have no friends, maybe I'll get a chance when the new girl shows up. My diary is the only thing I can really be happy about right now. With secrets, lies and twists and turns of life, Esme will discover the mysteries that you don't even find in stories.
1. Chapter 1

I am Esme. My life is complicated. I have a younger sister, Mollie, who is an angel…if that's was really possible. Home is bad enough, even without school messing up my life. It's difficult to explain… my parents died in a car crash last year, and ever since, my sister and I have been under the care of our Aunt. She's rich, beautiful and lives in a huge house – I should be happy…well, maybe not happy, but satisfied – contented, at least.

The problem is…well, she hates me. My aunt pretends to adore me, but I can see it in her eyes. Behind the strange mist of blue, I can sense the uncertainty, the hate, the disgust… I reckon it's something to do with her past. I'm clever, you know. I just get these gut feelings, and I notice things. I'm observant, too. But right now, that's the least of my worries. My Aunt has a problem, and quite frankly, I don't think that problem will go away for a long time. Oh, I wish I could read her mind.

Before my mum…you know, left me… I remember what she said, before she got in the car to go away with my dad for the weekend.

"I'll miss you, mum!" I whispered, hugging her tightly, not wanting to let her go. I'd never been away from her before.

"Hey, don't worry, darling! I'll miss you very much, too…but don't forget, it's only a weekend. I'll see you on Monday, I promise. You know, maybe you should write a diary… you know, to record all your thoughts, emotions, everything that happens while I'm gone. That might distract you from missing us. Love you, Esme." Mum had said, tears falling down her pale, delicate face from the mesmerising eyes. She hated me being upset as much as I despised watching her suffer.

I had ignored her idea, thinking that it would only make me feel worse. But I kept the suggestion in my mind.

Of course, mum broke her promise. I know that she couldn't really help it, but she has never broken a promise. I hate Mondays.

But now, after some thoughts, I realise that maybe a diary isn't such a lame idea…maybe, just maybe, it will bring me closer to my past.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday 12th November 2012

Dear Diary,

Wait – that sounds so stupid, so childish, so…juvenile. Don't be offended, Anne Frank. Not that you'll hear me… wow, this does sound ridiculous. But to be fair, I gave up on diaries after I was nine and my seven year old sister stole it and read the whole thing out to her class for show and tell.

Still, I should probably talk about something that I might actually be interested in when I look back at this in ten years' time.

School – I should probably tell you about that. It's all quite simple. There's Carly and her gang of 'populars'. There's Madeline and the geeks. There's Ashleigh-Rose, the shy, stubborn, new girl. There's me. And then, there's Aiden, the guy who doesn't think any of the girls at Lakelands High are pretty enough for him. Not that I can blame him, he is so hot. Besides, although I've had a major crush on him for my entire life, I know I haven't got a chance. Carly, on the other hand, believes that she does. I can't hide it. I'm jealous. Who isn't? Her hair is blonde and she has the most beautiful waves. I have mousy strands of light brown. She has the most stunning smile, her lips smothered in red lipstick. I have pale, thin lips that have never, ever even touched red lipstick.

So, I am off Aiden's list. So is Carly, I guess. But, it's hilarious to watch her flirt when Aiden is around. She bats her eyelashes (dripping with mascara) in such a creepy way, it's impossible to hold in a giggle. Her velvet voice, usually spiked with venom, goes all angelic and high pitched.

"Aiden! Can I be your partner in drama?" Carly's voice shot up at least two octaves. Her question was deliberate. We were doing melodrama in that lesson, and we had to get into partners. There would be a hero and a damsel in distress. Well, Carly was in distress all right, when Aiden rejected her! "Sorry, Carly, but I am going to ask someone else." Aiden was as cool as a cucumber after leaving Carly fuming silent, like a ticking time bomb about to explode. I think I was about to hyperventilate when he strutted in my direction. He was so close that I could touch him.

"So, Esme. Will you be my damsel in distress?" My jaw dropped. Me? There must have been some mistake. But there wasn't. Aiden Daniels had just acknowledged the girl who might as well be invisible.


	3. Chapter 3

Tuesday 13th November 2012

Dear Diary,

Yep…That really does sound lame. But I don't care about that anymore. I am moving on. I am in a good mood. No, not good, awesome! I am in an awesome mood! Not even Aunt Mira can bring me down today.

"Honestly, Esme, you should wear some make-up. You look horribly plain today." She had said. Ouch. That hurt. Her words cut right into my skin. If mum was here, she wouldn't have any of that. Mum never had got on with her sister, anyway. Mum never would have wanted Mollie and me with Aunt Mira, her younger sibling. Now she doesn't have a choice. Neither do I.

So, because I felt so put down, I put a thin layer of mascara on and slapped on some pale pink lip gloss. I'm glad I did though, because when I got to school I got a few compliments. Even Ava, Tori, Roxanne, Madison and a few others gave me a quick, admiring glance. At least, I hope it was admiration. I got really excited when Aiden walked past me, and wolf whistled. I blushed. He chuckled and gave me a high five. OMG.

I still have a feeling building up inside me. Although my relationship with Aiden is beginning to bloom, I still have no real friends. It used to be me and Keira, like two peas in a pod. We were best friends ever since toddler group. No one ever got between us at nursery, or primary school. Not even the first year at secondary. But then, Keira started getting touchy and short with me. I didn't know why, but she just kept getting stressed out at school, or round my house. It began to scare me.

However, the real panic came when she burst into tears when I went to her house in June last summer. We were looking back on our lifetime memories together. That's when she broke down in tears. She'd never been an emotional person, not when we left Primary, not when she was bullied. It was a scary day. At dinner time, her parents sat us down and all her family, who I'd become very close with, revealed the bitter truth.

"I'm sorry, Esme. But, we're leaving." Keira cried, extremely down put. It was quite obvious that she didn't have much input in the decision. But that was OK, wasn't it? I could still have seen her at the weekends!

But I couldn't have been more wrong.

"We're not just moving outside of town, Esme. We're moving to Florida." Jasmyn, Keira's sister, answered my thoughts.

And ever since, I have never seen her. Not once. When Keira left our town in Devon, in July earlier this year, she said that I could visit. She promised. But she broke that promise. Aunt Mira wouldn't let me. Keira's mum wouldn't let me; she thought (privately) that Keira would get on better without me, that she should make new friends instead of gripping on to the past.

I am the past. My heart breaks whenever I think of Keira. After moving to the US, we emailed every day. My emails got longer and longer, hers got shorter and shorter. In every email, someone called Savannah was mentioned. It started off brief, her name just used once. After two weeks, it was Savannah this and Savannah that. I remember how Keira's words caused me such pain.

_This email was sent from my iPad._

_Hi Emz, this is Keira._

_ Sorry I didn't email at 4.30 like we normally do, I was at Savannah's house. Did I tell you about her? She's amazing, and her mother is an actress! It's really sunny here, went to the beach with Savannah yesterday. Her mum bought us both ice creams with __**four**__ scoops!_

_Savannah's house is huge, her bedroom opens out onto a balcony. And guess what? She has a pony! It's dapple grey as well! Her house is like anything we'd ever dreamed of!_

_We made plans, to move into a flat together when we are grown up. Savannah is my BFF now! I am sure you are happy to know that I am settling down well and that I have made a new best friend!_

_From Keira._

_x_

That hurt. A lot. No, I am so not happy to know that she and Savannah have become Best Friends Forever, I am so not happy to hear that the two of them had used me and Keira's plan and turned it into their own. That was me and Keira's plan! WE were going to move to London and buy and apartment together and be best friends forever. And since when had Keira had an iPad? Her parents could never afford much – not that I minded, of course.

I miss you, Keira.


	4. Chapter 4

Wednesday 13th November

I've given up on Dear Diary now, as you can see. I am excited, now. People have started to notice Aiden and me. Today was so awesome!

Aiden had approached me at lunch time. It was 1:13 PM. I remember things like that, things that others don't. Things that are, to me – significant.

"Esme…I really like you." He had said. I gasped.

"I really like you too." I had replied. The shock was unbearable, however strangely pleasant. His friends had been watching intently. Aiden didn't mind, so I didn't either. In fact, it was quite nice to have an audience. I waited for him to propose his question.

"Will…will you be my girlfriend?" He asked. He seemed strangely fidgety and nervous, but that's only normal, right? Well, I hope it was.

"Of course, I'd… I'd love to!" I stumbled over those glorious words. It's unbelievable, really. I love life right now.

I felt so good as I went to Maths, the first lesson after lunch. As much as I absolutely loathe maths, I could have been flying with excitement. What would Carly say? Aiden was in the same class as me, would he be obviously flirting in front of the whole class?

When I walked into the classroom (a little late, as I had been daydreaming and dawdling) Aiden was already there. Carly was already there. Luckily the teacher hadn't started the lesson, but when he did, no one really wanted to pay any attention. No one ever did – it's maths, after all! I think Madeline was the only one who seemed interested in y=x+7 and the index rules. We had a test, so of course she would be studying way too hard.

On the other hand, there was everyone else, "revising" for the approaching test. Aiden sat next to me, and we talked. Every so often, when Mr Mathews (Our Maths teacher) walked past, we started flicking through our maths books, and go really over the top and enthusiastic about equations. When he was satisfied to think that we were actually working, sir went over to Carly. Aiden and I burst into fits of giggles under our breath.

"Honestly, look at them. Of course Aiden doesn't like Esme! He feels sorry for the stinking, loner mouse. It's just a pathetic joke to make Aiden look kind and charitable. Poor mouse, she'll never ever get any friends!" And then the laugh came. Those harsh words escaped from Carly's mouth, obviously. I detested Carly's new nickname for me. Mouse. True, I could be shy, and my mousy hairstyle didn't improve the situation. But I do NOT have sticking out teeth, like she had shouted in my face just a few days ago. I know I seem annoying to Carly, but what I really hate is people pointing out my flaws – as if I don't already see them. Someone seriously should tell Carly the ugly, bitter truth. The truth, that she is… a bitch.

I'm not going to tell Aunt Mira I said that, ever. I hope she never finds out. She'd give me a right shake, probably a slap. It's only because I think she is one herself!

Although Carly's words stung, I know that it's all lies. All rumours, things that aren't reality. Even if no one will ever believe me, I know that Aiden is serious. I know he is genuine about our relationship. I know that he loves me.


	5. Chapter 5

Thursday 14th November

Hello, again! I'm growing to enjoy this. It's become part of my daily routine. Just before I go to bed, I sit down and set my emotions free.

I've decided to ignore Carly now. The days are going by and I'm not letting her get to me.

The only reason I'm doing this is to stop Aunt Mira sticking her nose in. She loves a good complaint, a reason to have a go at someone. Because now, this could account as bullying. If my nosey aunt found out, she would have the time of her life having 'words' with the head teacher. It would give her a chance to yell at Carly's mum. Carly's mum is even prettier than Carly herself. She had a perfect, oval face and extremely angelic, young – looking features. I would have a hard time believing that Carly's mum would just take in Aunt Mira's harsh words. She would have a go back, making a big show of it. Whilst I would be humiliated – I would be a laughing stock.

I want to find out what her problem is. I'm going to have to do some field work – go to the root of this problem...Her room.

I knew it was wrong. But curiosity always takes over, what's an anxious child meant to do? I searched. For what, I don't know. Anything. Anything that could lead me to Aunt Mira's past. I looked under her bed, in her wardrobe, even in her sock drawer. Where else?

That's when I found it.

It was in her drawer. The drawer that is full of precious things, like jewellery. It was written by my Aunt Mira. A younger Aunt Mira, aged 12, like me. She had written… a diary.

Friday 15th November

Finally! It's Friday! I apologise for the short entry yesterday. But I have an excuse – would you write long paragraphs when you have to work on your toes to quickly discover the truth before your patronizing aunt realises that you've stolen her private childhood diary that probably holds secrets from the past? No.

I know it's wrong. I wouldn't do it to anyone but my aunt. I feel that she deserves it. Since I'm going to be living with her until I am legally an adult, I want to know the answers to my questions. Why does Aunt Mira seem to intensely dislike me so much? And why does she favour Mollie? These are the things that maybe I have a chance of finding out. Personally, I think that I should be the favoured one. I am the goody-goody, the one that does what she's told. Mollie is the naughty, rude, cheeky girl that answers back.

Now I have read the very first entry.

_Monday 12__th__ November 1989_

_Dear Diary,_

_Hello there. I am Mira. I am 12 years old and I am in the second year of my Secondary school. I don't want to write a diary. But my goody-goody twin sister, Kate, does. She is the angel; the favoured one…Even mum prefers her to me. She'd never say that to my face, though. I can see it behind those loving eyes. I'm only writing a few entries to satisfy mum. When my Gran died last week she wanted Kate and I to write a diary. I dunno why, must have been some kind of death wish for her granddaughters. Not a pleasant one. Did she want to punish me? I can't write much, I have dyslexia. I've never had good grades in English, I can't write in too much detail. Not poems, not stories, not newspaper articles. I've never given a diary a go before. Ouch, it's making my hand ache already. _

_Of course, Kate has written 3 pages on today's entry already, and we've only just got started. Isn't it unbelievable? Oh, how I envy her. My sister…Kate, the twin who shines while I lurk in the shadows. She has talents. She sings and plays piano so beautifully. She can cook. She can do math and she can write the most amazing poems and novels. She is everything I could ever wish to be. She is the superior twin, the one that is remembered when we meet someone new. She has more friends, more boys wanting to be her girlfriend, more teachers that adore her. But what I hate the most is that Kate denies all this. She makes me feel bad by turning down all the boys, saying that she has me, Mira, instead. I want to be angry with her. And if she's nice to me, well…I have no reason to. Now, whenever I see someone like you, I feel as if I should hate them. Be jealous of them. That's why you have so many more friends than me, Kate._

_I wish that Kate wasn't so gifted._

Wow. That makes me feel guilty. I knew that my mum never really got on with her twin, but I never realised the true reason behind it. I'd never considered Aunt Mira's side of the story. But maybe I should.


	6. Chapter 6

Saturday 16th November

Hi, it's me again. As you can probably guess, I have read more of Aunt Mira's diary. However, to stop myself from overloading my brain, I am only going to read 1 entry per day, you know, as if she'd only just written it. It's almost impossible to resist the temptation, but she might catch me if I read it for too long, and I certainly don't want that to happen.

One thing that really got to me, though, is the date of her first entry._ Monday 12__th__ November 1989. _After flicking back through this scruffy old notebook, I have realised that I started this diary on that exact same day, 23 years later. Now, I think I realise why Aunt Mira has a grudge against me.

_I feel as if I should hate anyone like you. _She had said. I am like my mum, Kate. I am exactly like my mum. I can't say anything to Aunt Mira, though. Because then, she would find out. And that can't happen. I would die if that happened. She would ground me for my entire life, probably. She would yell until the teardrops rolled from my passionate eyes.

At least I know. In a way, I sympathise. It's a shame. At least Aunt Mira has a decent reason, I'm sure I would be the same. Well, if that's the way she wants it… I will try to be like both my mum AND my aunt.

Things are still alright at school, I guess. Not much has happened since Aiden asked me out. The weekend has been quite quiet, I've just been considering options. He has been acting awkward around me when his friends were watching. His friends seemed very patronizing, like they were waiting for him to do something in particular.

Never mind – I have Aiden and that's all I care about.

Sunday 17th November

I still can't believe it. Today was great. No, it was amazing. In fact, there are no words good enough to describe it. Aiden asked me to go on a date with him.

We went to the cinema. I love was so romantic. He let me choose the movie, but after considering his feelings, I came to the conclusion that he wasn't in the mood to watch a chick flick. He's a boy… a romantic film probably wasn't the ideal choice.

So I picked Skyfall, the James Bond movie. He was so relieved when I suggested it, and to be honest, I actually really wanted to watch it anyway. We bought popcorn as well. I said I liked salt, but no one else normally liked it so I said I didn't mind if he got sweet. But he liked salt. So that was settled.

It was a classic cinema date. He held my hand in the popcorn (romantic but a little awkward) and when Bond kissed the girl, Aiden kissed me, for the first time… Oh, the satisfaction!

Then we went bowling. I got extra – competitive, and I won! He was quite shocked, but we just laughed for minutes on end and hugged each other. Then we sat in Pizza Express and chose what we wanted. I opted for the pasta – cheese strings hanging on your chin in a date, NOT a good look.

We hopped onto the X64 bus back to my town, and Aiden walked me back to my house. Aunt Mira wasn't too happy about this. Not just the date, but the whole relationship. She doesn't approve of boyfriends. Not until I'm 16, at least.

When I got home, I got out Aunt Mira's diary. I'm not going to bother copying out anything; there isn't anything of interest written. I don't think much happened when Aunt Mira was 12. She didn't write much in her diary. Then again, I don't think she wanted to.

What a great day. Life can surprise you sometimes… just when you've got everything figured out, something jumps out at you, changing your world forever.


	7. Chapter 7

Monday 18th November

I have to admit – Today wasn't such a good day. I would drag it out, but let's just say that I got grounded for life.

It all started with Mollie – the stinking brat. I was reading Aunt Mira's diary once again. I think she had noticed it before. Anyway, I was quite obsessed with my aunt's diary. It may not be top quality writing, but it was like a whole other life inside me, that I had unlocked.

I just saw her head poking round my door. My reactions have never been that great. Before I could even blink, her nifty hands grabbed the diary out of my hands. I think that she was hoping that it was mine, so she could humiliate me again. When she opened the front cover and saw that it wasn't mine, her eyes lit up. As if she had won the lottery. A perfect opportunity.

Honestly, Mollie really does hate me. It's as if she is a GPS for trouble, every day she wants Aunt Mira's recognition and praise for telling tales. That beastly snitch.

"Aunt Mira, Esme isn't doing homework, she's playing on her phone!" That earned me a good telling off.

"Aunt Mira, Esme has a boyfriend!" That earned me a slap.

"Aunt Mira, Esme put her peas on my plate!" That earned me another portion of peas, which I despise.

But this tops it all off.

"Aunt Mira, Esme has been reading your personal, private diary!" Oh god. I heard the thundering steps as she stomped upstairs, headed towards my room. I hid under my duvet, hugging the diary close. I panicked. My thoughts trailed away as I shut my eyes and listened to the angry paces and livid breathing.

"ESME DANIELLA CORBETT, YOU HAVE INVADED MY PRIVACY!" The words were screamed. It was so audible, I think I heard birds outside the house squawking and flying away. No one ever uses my middle name. Not unless they are really, really furious.

"THAT IS MY PERSONAL PROPERTY, THE ONLY PART OF MY LIFE THAT SHOULD STAY SECRET!" I didn't want to argue back. My eyes were burning with the hot tears that flowed through them. I don't really deal with arguments and yelling well. I wished that Aunt Mira would forgive me, but she's not willing to do that. Why can't time be reversed?


	8. Chapter 8

Tuesday 19th November

I don't want to write much today. 2 words – Broken Heart. I still can't believe it. Today, I don't want to talk about my emotions when doing so will cause me such pain. Aiden dumped me. He said he loved me. I thought he loved me.

"Esme, I need to tell you something." Aiden's voice sounded strained, as if he were under a lot of pressure. His friends were, once again, watching closely.

"Look, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but…it was all a dare."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that our relationship was fake. I faked. I'm sorry." He walked off, his friends smirking and patting him on the back while I was left broken hearted.

"What the hell? I thought you loved me, Aiden."

It can't have been a dare. It was genuine. He asked me on a date. We kissed. We were dating for 5 days, why couldn't it have been longer? I know there's another reason behind it. But it doesn't make me feel any better.

Wednesday 20th November

Aunt Mira was still giving me hell. It's not my fault that I'm unnaturally curious. She yelled. I yelled this time.

"Esme, do Mollie's chores for her." Aunt Mira asked, sending s chill up my spine.

"What if I refuse?" I challenged.

"Then you are a very naughty girl."

"I refuse."

Then the yelling match started.

"ESME, YOU WILL DO AS I SAY!"

"NO, MY LIFE IS REALLY CRAP RIGHT NOW! MY BOYFRIEND JUST DUMPED ME, FOR GOD'S SAKE AND YOU ARE JUST MAKING MY EXISTENCE A WRECK!" That was a bit too far, I think. Never mind.

Her voice suddenly softened. She looked as if she could empathize with me. I'm not sure why, but she seemed to forgive me.

"Look, Esme, I've been meaning to give you this for a while. Your mother would've wanted you to have it, but I couldn't bear to part with it." She ran off to get something. When she returned, she was carrying a book. It looked like Aunt Mira's dairy. But, I already had it! What was it?

"Esme, take a look." She seemed happy.

I took the book from her hands. It looked very delicate, the binding was very fragile. It was identical to Aunt Mira's diary. I opened the cover.

It wasn't Aunt Mira's diary. It was Kate's diary.

I was breathless as I opened the first page. I should have known. Both sisters had written a diary, given to them by their grandmother. I haven't read it yet, I have had enough drama and suspense for one day.


	9. Chapter 9

Thursday 21st November

Love sucks. I'm not just talking about me and Aiden. I'm talking about my mum and my aunt. I never knew there was so much tension at their Secondary School.

Firstly, Aiden asked Carly out. I'm not going into the details of that because I don't flipping care.

Secondly, I read mum's diary. I also read more of Aunt Mira's diary. It's complicated.

_Dear Diary,_

_I met a boy. He's really cute, he is smart, funny, and he's a real gentleman. You know, the kind of boy that helps you out when you're stuck. His eyes are a gorgeous shade of blue, his hair is blonde and he flips it in such a cute way! His name is Liam and I'm going to ask him out tomorrow. _

That was Mum's entry.

_Hi again. It's me, Mira. I don't know if I should say, but there's a boy I like. He's so nice, he tells good jokes and his smile is so angelic. I have a major crush on him. I'm going to ask Liam out tomorrow._

That was Mira's entry.

God, this is confusing. So, let me get this straight. Both twins were going to ask out the same boy on the same day. There's always going to be chaos.

I didn't really want to read the next entries for Kate and Mira. I know what would happen, because… Liam is my dad.


	10. Chapter 10

Friday 22nd November

I really feel for Aunt Mira after reading both entries.

_I asked him out and he said that he'd been thinking the same! He complemented my hair, my eyes and said I was beautiful! I am so glad that I have such a perfect boyfriend!_

Go mum.

_I asked him out at lunch. He said that he's already going out with my twin, and that he would have said no anyway as he was not attracted to me like my sister. I said that we are identical twins, for goodness sake… but he said that it wasn't about what we looked like. I'm obviously not a good person._

Poor Aunt Mira. She was the shadow to her twin. The twin that got the good grades. The twin that got all the friends. The twin that got a boyfriend.

This is why Aunt Mira was so furious that I had taken her diary. And probably the reason that she was reluctant to give me my mum's diary. I wish that things had gone well for both twins. Maybe Aunt Mira would like me more.

Now, I appreciate all the little things. Like, all the details in mum's diary that wouldn't matter to anyone else, but seem so important to me. On her 13th birthday, she got a chocolate Labrador puppy. I've always adored dogs. I used to have a little West Highland Terrier called Sammy, but when I had to live with Aunt Mira, she refused to keep him and I had to give him to a rescue home.

It broke my heart; I loved the sweet little dog. It just made me even more hateful towards Aunt Mira, who seemed to delight in seeing me upset.

I laughed at all mum's diary entries about her new puppy. I couldn't stop myself from giggling at all Aunt Mira's diary entries about the new puppy. Her name was Millie, and it seemed that she was very naughty. Mira wasn't very keen on the puppy, according to her diary, and Kate loved her!

Reading these diaries has somehow connected me with my mum once again, it's like I'm living with her but I am invisible – I know all the ins and outs of her life, but she doesn't know it. Reading through my mum's writing has made me realise just how much I love and miss her.


	11. Chapter 11

Saturday 23rd November

Yay. I am officially friendless (and boyfriendless) again. You know, I think might give Ashleigh – Rose a go. I know, she's stubborn and shy and boastful, but I think there's a reason behind that. She wants friends, but she thinks she can get them by talking about her rich family. I guess I could call…

So that's what I did. Keira had given me Ashleigh-Rose's number after speaking to her.

"Um, hi, Ashleigh-Rose" I was interrupted.

"Who the hell is this?" Rude!

"This is Esme… I was wondering, do you want to hang out today? We could go to Mcdonald's…" I was interrupted once _again._

"I'm a vegetarian, and I'm busy." Rude!

"Well, I guess that's a no then." I replied.

"Yes, that's a no." She sounded very impatient.

"Well, nice talking to you." I tried to be polite.

"Hmph." Rude!

What is her problem? OK, so it's not my fault that she's a vegetarian, we could have gone somewhere else!

But I will NOT give up. She's my only other chance of a friend, I will persist.

Sunday 24th November

I wish I had a close relationship with Mollie. You know, she's my sister and the only real family member I have left. Because deep, deep down, I know that she looks up to me. I know that she hates me, but only because of past experiences. I don't think she'll mind if I tell you… but I never talk about it with Mollie, it scares her too much.

It seems stupid, but at the time it wasn't. We were at the supermarket a few years ago. I was 9 and Mollie was about 5. We played hide and seek whilst mum was browsing. I let Mollie hide, and I said I'd count.

I counted for a few seconds, then I thought it might be funny if I didn't go to find my sister. So, minutes went by. Tens of minutes went by. I was having a look at the huge variety of sweets, forgetting all about Mollie. When mum was done with the shopping, she called us. So, I went over, expecting Mollie to have given up and gone back to mum. But she hadn't. Mum was angry when I told her what I'd done, but this was no time to be cross. Mollie was nowhere to be seen. I remembered telling her the rules very carefully – _Don't leave your hiding place until I find you. Never._

Oops. Mollie had always listened to me, so I panicked.

In the end, we had to call security. She was found 20 minutes later, hiding amidst the bread. Mollie was crying her eyes out, she would never forgive me, ever.

Now that's over, I want to try again. I want to grow up loving my sister and being close to her, so my children can be close to her as well. That's what I'll do.

"Mollie, how are you?" I asked, in a sweet, innocent voice.

"I'm alright, thanks." I could tell that she wasn't really paying attention. Mollie was playing with her Barbie's.

This conversation continued for some amount of time, until I was tossed out when I brought up 'the supermarket incident'. Why is my sister so unforgiving? I miss her being my friend.


	12. Chapter 12

Monday 25th November

I know I haven't talked about school much these days. Oh, the shame. Even Ashleigh – Rose is embarrassed to be near me, the girl-that-thought-Aiden-really-like-her, the loser girl that was just seen as a joke and a recipe for fun. Their ideas of fun, anyway. It's evil and twisted.

The way I look at Aiden must creep him out, he shies away when I plead to him to stop all this. While his friends taunt, tease and throw spit balls, what does he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He just sits there and observes quietly as if he's watching TV. It hurts, but at least he doesn't join in with my torture. That's what it is…torture. It may not hurt physically, but mentally and emotionally, it's killing me.

At lunch time, I listened to the song Mean by Taylor Swift on my phone. The lyrics really applied to me, especially the chorus.

_Someday I'll be living in a big old city_

_And all you're ever gonna be is mean._

_Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me_

_And all you're ever gonna be is mean._

_Why you gotta be so mean?_

They touched me. So that's when I got into songwriting. I like writing. I like writing poems. Maybe I'll like writing songs, too. I'll write them about Aiden. I won't mention any names, though. I don't think he'd appreciate that. And I don't want to embarrass myself either. I'll start tomorrow.

Someday I want to be like Taylor Swift. I have a dream.

Tuesday 26th November

I've given up on songwriting already. Yes, I know it's lame , but after five lousy attempts, I know when it's time to quit. My lyrics don't work. I try to write with passion and empathy, but I feel stupid. Maybe it's because I say them, not sing them. Oh, I'm not going there. Aunt Mira made me take singing lessons last year, but I failed miserably. Then again, that was classical, this is pop… no, I shouldn't even be thinking this. I wish I could sing. I will write some lyrics here, but don't judge too harshly, OK? This was the best I could do so please give me a chance!

_Every now and then I tell you_

_Please be there for me_

_I'm falling for you_

_Falling for you_

_But will you be there to catch me?_

_Will you be my hero?_

That was my chorus. Then I wrote a verse.

_Here I am, sitting here,_

_Waiting for you._

_Here I am, sitting here._

_I'm sick of waiting for you._

_Looking forward, don't want to look back,_

_The past is over, doesn't matter anymore._

_Time is time, and love is love,_

_These complications weren't made for us,_

_If I can get over it,_

_Then why can't you?_

And then my final chorus:

_Every now and then I tell you_

_Please be there for me_

_I fell for you_

_Fell for you,_

_And this time you let me fall_

_Will you be my hero?_

Lame, huh? I'm giving up now, I can't get any kind of tune or melody in my head, I own no sense of rhythm or intelligence. It's never going to be a song. It's going to always be a worthless piece of writing. Forever.

Anyway, I found out some details about Ashleigh-Rose. She loves ice skating! When I asked her to come with me, she jumped at the chance. We're going tomorrow and I can't wait! Maybe things will work out – us, as…friends. I hope that she gives me a fair chance. What if she freaks? What if she insults me? No, I shouldn't worry about that. I'm sure that Ashleigh-Rose is a decent person inside. After all, what's the worst she can do (or say), she's only human, and so am I.

At school, Carly really dampened my spirits. Whenever I walk by, or come close to Aiden, her first reaction is to look into his –gorgeous- eyes, and kiss him. It's like she's not doing it for the love. She's doing it to hurt me. I bet she doesn't really love Aiden. She just wants attention, popularity and spite in my direction.


	13. Chapter 13

Wednesday 27th November

Today was quite enjoyable. At the Ice Rink, Ashleigh-Rose and I had a great time. I was just a beginner, I could skate but never in the world would I be able to do the fancy jumps and turns like Ashleigh-Rose. She really was beautiful. I don't think she realized it, but all eyes were on her. She twirled in the air, leaped, and then bent down so she was crouching. She spun really fast , sticking her other leg out. It was quite breathtaking. And she wasn't even showing off. It was all natural. Ashleigh-Rose looked a bit mortified after she had finished showing me her array of skills.

Ice skating really brought Ashleigh –Rose out of her shell. Long gone is the girl that is stubborn and shy and rude. Just coaxing her out of her shell shows me Ashleigh-Rose's true personality – kind, funny, outgoing, reliable… the list is endless. In fact, now that I had got to know her, Ashleigh-Rose kind of reminds me of… Keira. Maybe I can finally get over her. Now I know what she enjoys, we can be best friends, stuff Keira! I was always told to make new friends by my primary school teacher, Miss Young. She was my favourite teacher. Miss Young always had faith in me, and I was a bit of a teacher's pet back then. I absolutely positively hate that now. Teacher's pets annoy me to hell. Guess it's a good thing that I don't like any teachers at Lakelands High. They are all

"What other things do you enjoy?" I asked Ashleigh–Rose.

"Well, I really like being daring!" She replied. I suggested horse-riding (I am good at that) as that was kind of daring. She seemed excited so we made a date. We're going on Friday after school, that's the 29th November. Ashleigh –Rose is really looking forward to it. I can just tell, from the way she acts. Well, so am I! I can't wait, it will be just awesome!

Thursday 28th November

All is well, I guess. I have good news. At least, I think it's good news. Aiden and Carly have broken up. But not for the reason I'd hoped. They still like each other, really. So it's not the fact that they don't like each other. You see, Carly is moving to London. It's amazing; I am thrilled with the anticipation of seeing her go. She wants to pursue her modelling career. She'd tried it last year, in Year 7, but all the auditions were in London and she had to keep missing school. In the end, both the teachers and her parents got fed up, so she stopped doing it. Carly made a fair bit of money, though. She was on the Debenhams TV commercial for kids clothing. It was hilarious; she had to wear a big woolly Christmassy jumper with reindeer on it! She would never wear that in the real world – but after all, it's a job. And, as she boasted, she got £350 for two days of shooting the commercial!

I wonder if Aiden and I could ever get back together… No, I shouldn't be fantasizing, it will never happen. I'll only ever get upset and disappointed. At school, when Carly told Aiden, she had little teardrops on her eyes, and it didn't look like Aiden even bothered! Carly leaned forward to kiss him, but Aiden pulled away! He said (and I quote), "No, Carly. If you're leaving, then you're not my girlfriend. Sorry, but you're dumped. Have fun in London!" I was watching the scene from nearby. I gasped and let my jaw drop. Aiden strutted off, giving me a quick flash of his smile before going on past me. Oh, the look on Carly's face! It was as if she'd just sucked an extremely sour lemon! When she told her friends, they all cried and pampered her all day. They do that anyway.


	14. Chapter 14

Friday 29th November

Well, I have to admit…Today could have got better. To put it in short, let's just say there was a major accident, a lot of shouting, and a lot of worry. And it was my fault.

It started with school. Not much happened. It was Carly's last day, thank God. Not much else to report.

Then I went horse riding with Ashleigh-Rose. Now that I've got to know her, I call her by her nickname, Rose. We went to Feather down Farm, a riding school where I had learnt to ride. I loved it there. I gave Rose the grand tour. I had been riding since I was three, so I was welcome at these stables. But I have never ever owned my own horse or pony. It's the money. My parents could never afford it. Aunt Mira could, but she'd never agree to it. She seems to have a grudge against pets. I don't mind, though. I practically own one of the horses here, anyway. His name is Lucky. Which I guess he is, I suppose. When I think back to all those competitions we entered and won together. They were the good days.

Rose was riding Mocha, a very calm mare that got her name because of her colour, like the coffee. I'd ridden her a few times before, but she was too**_safe_** for me. I liked a horse with a bit of personality!

Anyway, we rode through the forest and through the clearing, with permission from Callie, the stable manager. It was amazing once again to feel the wind through my hair. It had been so long. Of course, we were only going slow, for Rose was inexperienced. We were trotting, for that was the fastest she could manage, and she seemed to enjoy herself.

That's when the trouble started.

BANG!

Some idiot was shooting pigeons a little way off. The noise made Mocha rear. I never knew she was afraid of loud noises. I watched in horror as Mocha reared. Rose screamed as she clung onto the reins. She managed to stay on, but Mocha bolted. Lucky seemed calm, so we galloped after Mocha and Rose. It couldn't let her get hurt. I am the one with the responsibility, here.

I was too late. Poor Rose was gripping on for dear life. Then, my heart nearly stopped as I saw her toppling to the side.

"LET GO OF THE REINS!" I yelled, panicking. She had to let go, or the horse would trample her. It didn't look as if she was planning to let go.

"ROSE, YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME! LET GO NOW!" I could barely be heard over the thundering of hooves. Lucky and I were catching up, but Rose had already fallen. She didn't let go, and Mocha dragged her a few metres before Rose's grip loosened. I dismounted. I whispered to Lucky. "Get Callie now!" And Lucky ran.

Mocha had stopped. Rose was unconscious, I was terrified. I examined her wounds. There was a huge cut on the back of her head. She must have hit a rock or something. That would surely do some damage. Minutes later, I saw Callie galloping towards us on Lucky. I sighed in relief.

Then I went to hospital. Things didn't look good. The worst bit was when I came face to face with her parents. I had to tell them exactly what happened. Rose's mum got angry. Livid, in fact. She could have slapped me. Then, she started yelling.

"HOW COULD YOU LET MY DAUGHTER DO SUCH A THING! SHE IS FRAGILE AND MUST NEVER DO ANYTHING SO DANGEROUS!" I didn't know what to say back.

"No, you must have misunderstood. Rose wanted to go horse riding- ." I was interrupted.

"I don't believe you. Now **** off so I can see my daughter." I want to cry. That was taking it too far. It was an accident. Accidents happen.


	15. Chapter 15

Thursday 13th December

Don't go there. I know it's been a while. I can't stand to write, and I have no spare time anyway. Whenever I am not at school or in bed, I am at the local hospital. I haven't been doing homework either. My teachers get really annoyed; they've even spoken to Aunt Mira. I am spending all my time with Rose. She's been in a coma ever since the accident. It's been two weeks and I can't get over it. What if she never wakes up? I talk to her every day for hours on end, keeping her up to date on school stuff. Things have been different without Carly. Aiden has been strange. He keeps looking at me, but his friends pull him back, as if he is a puppet and they are controlling him.

I've had lunchtime detentions every day this week. I beg my teachers to not make me stay after school; I go to see Rose as soon as I finish school, at 3.15 pm. The nice teachers feel sorry for me. The strict teachers give me after school detentions, but I never go. I care for Rose way too much.

Her mother still seems to hate me, though. Rose's father and I are quite similar, in a way. We get on quite well, considering things. Whenever Martha (Rose's mum) picks on me and blames her daughters' injury, Ethan (Rose's dad) tells her to stop and whispers in my ear that it's not really my fault. Though I can tell he's worried. They both secretly wish that I was riding Mocha when the gunshot was fired. That I was the one that fell off the horse…That I was in a coma right now, not Rose.

Things aren't great. Without Rose, school is boring. After we became friends, we laughed and giggled like ever. She's my best friend now, the only person I trust. I love Rose as a friend, she's passionate, kind, funny, she doesn't judge people, but most importantly, she can be strong. I know that she can make it through all this…mess. She's my best friend and I don't want to lose her.


	16. Chapter 16

Friday 14th November

I wish I was not so unlucky. I seem to drive all my friends away. At least I have Mollie. She may hate my guts right now, but she knows me pretty well, and, at least she's someone. That's one more person that I can love, even if she doesn't particularly love me back.

It's starting to feel Christmassy. The weather has plummeted to beyond zero, Mollie has written her Christmas list. She knows Aunt Mira will buy her anything she wants, so she took advantage of that.

Mollie's List:

iPad 3

Kindle Paperwhite

iPad Dock

Blackberry

Giant chocolate bar

Ballet Pointe Shoes

Make up box full of make up

World peace

World Peace? What the? Anyways, I won't be surprised if she does get all those things. Why is Mollie such a stuck-up brat? My Christmas list isn't so exciting!

Esme's List:

Turquoise Pencil case

Fountain Pen

Twilight books

Waterproof Mascara

A TV for my room

To be honest, I don't really want the TV, but otherwise Mollie would boast that she had more presents than me. I don't really care, but her voice just annoys me and I want to escape that.

Things between Mollie and I are improving, though. Today, she gave me a hug and whispered, "I'm glad you're my sister. I love you." That was sweet. So we played her favourite game – 40 40 in. Aunt Mira's house was big, we had fun. I think it helped her get over her hiding fear after the 'supermarket thing'.

I'm glad Mollie and I have made up. I've loved her all along, really. I've just needed an opportunity to show it. She's my sister and she loves me. She's my sister and I love her. We can make our mum proud, we can get over the stupid arguments and taunting. We can appreciate one another and not take advantage of life's gift of a sister.


	17. Chapter 17

Saturday 15th December

Life has taken a turn for the better. But I'm not as thrilled as I should be. I've missed Rose; our short friendship was one of the best I ever had. It maybe even beats me and Keira's friendship. After all, when I was with Keira…It was like, she was the leader and I was the follower. She was superior, ever since Nursery. I liked her, and she liked me, but I guess she can't help that she's a bit bossy at times. On the other hand, with Rose and me, we are on completely even terms. There is no leader or follower. We respected each other's wishes and actions, deciding together what to do, what to play.

Keira's back.

I know, I know… I should be ecstatic – my long gone best friend that I'd known all my life was back from America, back with me. But I'm not. I feel as if a part of me is gone - the part that is Rose. I miss her. She'll wake up soon. I know it. Rose is strong and she can fight it. For now, I have to be satisfied with Keira's return. Gosh, I'm making a right fuss about all this. Don't get me wrong, it was great meeting Keira and all her family at the airport. They were all there – Keira and her sisters, Jasmyn and Darcey, as well as her brother, Sam, and her parents. It had only been a year since I last saw her, but when I looked into her eyes, it felt like longer. Keira looked so much more grown up! The sun had tanned her immensely, her naturally beautiful face was smothered in make – up, her lovely locks had been straightened. It was a shame; I loved Keira as she was before. What had America done to her? At that moment, she looked more like Carly. Not the Keira I knew. Notice that I use the past tense.

I bet Savannah had an impact on this…thing. Keira looked so plastic she might as well be a Barbie doll. I should give her to Mollie as a Christmas present.

You may be thinking – Why? Her father lost his job. He was working in a big business firm, and they closed down. Simple.

Keira even spoke with a slight American slang accent as well! It's not really her fault though, I guess. When I told her all about Aiden, Carly and Ashleigh-Rose, she seemed interested. At least, I think she was interested. If she _was_ bored, than I don't care. I can go on about Ashleigh-Rose as much as I like – She went on about Savannah all the time.

Keira didn't approve of me talking about Rose as a close friend. For a minute, I thought she was jealous. When I mentioned that she was in a coma, I heard Keira mutter under her breath, "Thank god." Why was she being so rude? She never gave Rose a chance. How can she judge? That was when I realised that Keira isn't such a perfect person on the inside after all.

I just want Rose. Rose, please wake up. I want you as my best friend. I'm trying to make you open your eyes. I've talking to you, like the nurse said. And I'll keep talking until you can be with me again. I miss you, Rose.

**_Leave me alone, Keira._**

**_Stop pestering and go away._**

**_Go back to your precious Savannah for all I care._**

**_I just want Rose._**


	18. Chapter 18

Sunday 16th December

Miracles happen. I know they do. I got Rose back. That was a miracle.

It happened today, when I went to see Rose at the hospital. She was heading towards three weeks in a coma and Christmas was creeping ever closer. Everyone was hoping, I was praying. Hope was beginning to fade. Even the nurses weren't exactly sure when (Or if) Rose would wake up. Her injury was bad, her brain must have been affected and she lost quite a large amount of blood. I just want Rose. I was thinking in my head repeatedly the same words for hours.

There was definitely a lot of uncertainty in the atmosphere, and hope as well. Maybe that's what woke her up. Really, I don't care what did it –I'm just glad that she's back in my world, with me, right here right now. I just want Rose.

She wasn't allowed out of the hospital, so I had to be content with just visits. It doesn't matter, though. I have Rose and I'm happy now. The only thing that can ever make my life better is…Aiden.


	19. Chapter 19

Monday 17th December

Love can lie sometimes. So does life itself, I guess. I'm glad that now I know the truth. The real truth, the whole truth. Aiden never loved Carly. He loved me. I knew that Aiden would do the right thing.

"Esme, we need to talk." Aiden approached me before school started, at 8:25am. I followed him and we sat on the bench under the trees.

"Look, you need to know the truth. I mean, you have the right, as it is about you. I have always liked you. Even when I dumped you, I still loved you. It's just that, well… my friends didn't approve of me dating you. I told them to get over it, but they got together and made a decision. They decided that if I was going to continue to go out with you, they wouldn't be my friend. Rowan told me that if I wanted to still be his friend, I'd have to break your heart. And I apologize. I was wrong, and it only took me a while to realise that I had made the greatest mistake of my life. I wanted to go back for you, but… I just couldn't. I really like you, Esme." My heart was thumping for the duration of this beautiful speech. I could only stutter my words.

"What about Carly?" I asked him.

"Carly…Carly who?" He innocently said, and I giggled and wrapped my arms around his body. He really was my true love. Oh God, this does sound cheesy. Might as well be watching High School Musical!

I'm glad that Aiden told me the truth, or I would probably never have got back together with him. He sacrificed a lot – His friends. It's a strong thing, the power of love…Damn it, I should be a poet! Come on, Esme, shut it with the Shakespeare nonsense! It's giving me a headache!

But I am serious. I'm not even sure that_ I _could give up Ashleigh-Rose for Aiden. I wouldn't be able to choose. Aiden is such an amazing guy. I am so lucky.

The lies in my life seem to have been cleared, gone, washed away, wiped out. I am with Aiden in my world. My happy, free, glorious world.

Friday 21st December

Sorry. I haven't really been keeping you up to date. It's not my fault. I've been busy, you know… Homework, catching up with Rose – dating Aiden! The usual…

Oh my god, I am in love with Aiden. Today was the last day of term. At the end of the school day he grabbed my hand and we ran to the abandoned field where no one ever went. He apologized in advance for the fact that what he was about to do was OTT, but also that he couldn't stop himself. We hid in the trees and when Aiden was sure no one could see or hear, he started to sing 'All I want for Christmas is You' by Mariah Carey. He really made my day, I couldn't help but smile. So it was OTT, but it was romantic. And he was such a great singer, too! When it was over, a came closer to him and kissed him.

"Have a great Christmas, Esme." He whispered in his soft, velvet voice – rather like Edward Cullen… No, he may be beautiful but he is definitely NOT a vampire!

"I will. Love you!" I replied.

"Love you too. I'll see you in the New Year. Bye!" He blew me a kiss and strolled off in a different direction. I might as well have been skipping home, I was so happy.

I am kind of disappointed that I don't have to go to school anymore - where else can I see my perfect boyfriend every day, and for almost every hour of that day? Nowhere.

I sat by that phone for nearly two hours until it finally rang. I was alert, I picked it up before it had been ringing for a second.

"Hey, that was quick!" It was Aiden, of course.

"Was it? I mean, it's not like I've been sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring..." That sounded desperate. What is my problem?

Our conversation lasted a while, but then Aunt Mira kicked me off. She wanted to book some hobbies for Mollie - Archery, Horse-riding, Pottery, Gymnastics and Street Dance. Poor Mollie, it must be hard to live like that.


	20. Chapter 20

Saturday 22nd December

Today I went Christmas shopping with Rose. It was great. I didn't really have much that I needed to buy, so shopping was just a perfectly convenient excuse to socialize with Rose. We both had great fun. I bought enough sweets to last a month in Pound land, and I spent just £3! We had a fantastic time in Jack Wills – Trying on hoodies and tracksuit bottoms as 'potential buyers' when we both knew that's we'd never really be able to afford anything. I only just had enough money to buy a pair of Jack Wills knickers, socks or a purse! I managed to get some proper presents, though. For Mollie, I bought her a personalized Thornton's chocolate plaque with a special message iced on it. It said,

_Dear Mollie, J_

_Merry Christmas!_

_Lots of Love,_

_Your sister Esme xxx_

I loved the little smiley face that the lady iced in the corner. Mollie loved chocolate so I had bought her the perfect gift. Well, that was the first thing to check off the list in my head.

For Aunt Mira, I bought her favourite perfume that was quite conveniently on offer, half price in Boots. That was another present that I could tick off my mental list.

I wanted to get something for my friends, too. Because I felt nice, I bought Keira a bag of chocolate buttons. Nothing special.

For Rose, I got a Friendship bracelet that was carefully handmade in all her favourite colours. I also bought her Ice Skate earrings, as she only had one pair of earrings. I also got a pretty glass frame and I placed a photo of us in our ice skates inside it. I managed to buy all this stuff in secret whilst she was buying her own presents, or going to the toilet, or trying on some clothes etc.

For Aiden, I spent ages trying to find the right thing. At first I was going to get him a video game, the one he wanted. But it didn't seem special enough. So I got a big photo album that was beautifully decorated on the interior as well as the exterior. When I got home I got together some pictures of us. I had a few of us, just me and him, a few from secondary school so far (you know, class pictures and stuff) and as he went to my primary school, a few from that time, it seems like many year ago. In the first year of primary, we used to be quite good friends - until Carly wanted to be his friend. And Carly always got what she wanted.

I left half of the album empty, so that he could continue it himself with memories that are yet to come.

For my mum and dad, I bought them the most expensive flowers I could afford, ready to place by their tree that was planted in memory of them, the place where their ashes were buried.

I really do feel privileged. Even though my parents are dead, I know they still loves me. I have an aunt that loves me, a sister that loves me, a boyfriend that loves me, a best friend that loves me – and I love them all back.


	21. Chapter 21

Sunday 23rd December

It's almost Christmas. To be honest, I'm not really into it at the moment. Mollie has been watching the online countdown to Christmas for about two months, bless her. I don't feel Christmassy. I might be growing out of it, I don't know.

I'm not going to say the real reason why I don't look forward to the 'most wonderful time of the year.' OK. I won't say it out loud. I'll tell you. I'll write it.

Mum and dad died two days before Christmas. That's a year ago today. Ever since, Christmas, in my opinion, has always been the thing that took my family away from me. No one should have to live like that, but I do.

Mollie has got over it so easily. Well, if she hasn't, she hides it well. She only cries when we go to see our parents' tree. I get emotional almost every day. It's uncontrollable, whenever I think of my mum or dad, my eyes just well up. I can feel the tears trickling down my cheeks already.

I really need to grow up. I'm going to be thirteen next month, a teenager. That idea scares me. I only have nine days left of being twelve, of being a child. Then I will be older, more mature. I don't want to get older. I want to be young forever. I could be like Peter Pan in Neverland, the boy that never gets older. He will be a child forever. I won't have to work hard, I can play and have fun all day long.

Then again, I wouldn't be able to get married, or have children, or get a job. After all this, I think I'll be a writer. I can write stories about normal life, like diaries.

No, I do want to grow up. Then I can be with Aiden.

Monday 24th December

It's Christmas Eve. I didn't do much today. I met up with Rose and Aiden at the park, we had a really fun time as a threesome, but after ten minutes, Keira came along. Aunt Mira had rung up Keira's mum and told her that I was here. That was a major disappointment. She only said that she wished that she was back in Florida with Savannah, oh how she missed her Savannah and the glorious sun and her swimming pool and the sea and the sand. She **_might_** have got a bit impatient and miffed when I **_might_** have told her to shut her cakehole. Oh well. Everyone got a bit annoyed with her, and I had the desperate urge to slap her when she was mocking Rose's voice behind her back. So I imitated Keira's American slang accent very obviously NOT behind her back. Let's just say things didn't end well. Keira stormed off in tears. What was her problem? Keira NEVER cried – at least, not the Keira that I know. I mean, the Keira that I knew. America had really got under her skin and changed her personality. She should just go back to Florida, back to the sun, back to her precious Savannah. She has no business in the United Kingdom that she is now against so much. OK, so it rains rather a lot and it isn't as hot as the United States, but the people here are decent. Keira just needs to give her **_own country_** a chance and stop comparing.

Mollie is mega excited about tomorrow, and the Christmassy spirit doesn't seem to have hit me yet. I gave my friends their presents and spent the rest of my dull day reading The Hunger Games and reading Aunt Mira's and my mum's diaries. I went to their Christmas Eve's entries and tried to find out if their twelfth Christmas Eve was any more interesting than mine.


	22. Chapter 22

Tuesday 25th December

Merry Christmas! I still can't believe that we had a white Christmas. I was much more excited by the thick bed of snow outside than by the gigantic pile of presents by my bed. I got everything I wanted, but I'm not boasting about it like Mollie is. She's a sweet girl really, but she has a tendency to boast. Mollie boasts an awful lot. Mainly to me, but she does it to her friends as well. It's not like Mollie even realises. Her friends give sideways glances at each other and roll their eyes whenever Mollie talks about her birthday or Christmas presents, or her Easter eggs, or when she wins prizes. I see it, usually, and it makes me giggle.

I got my twilight books, so after I was done with rolling about in the snow and chucking snowballs at Mollie, I got stuck in. I enjoy reading. Maybe that's why I like writing so much. Words just come so naturally when I whip my pen out. Some things are very dull, whilst other things I write turn out okay. I'm trying to be modest, here. But I do want to fulfil my goals and ambitions, the song writing thing is behind me, far behind me in the past, and I am going to be a children's writer.

I really am getting into the Christmas spirit, now. Aunt Mira spent most of the day cooking and baking – she made the Christmas dinner all by herself. Well, Mollie and I gave our assistance when necessary, but Aunt Mira definitely did the majority herself. When dinner/lunch (whatever!) was over, she made her own mince pies and Christmas pudding!

The day was great. I got texts from Keira (fantastic. NOT), Rose and Aiden (yay!) saying thanks for their presents. Aiden's was particularly long. He must have used about three texts in one go! It was very romantic. He said that he'd stuck one more picture in already – the one of us together in the cinema.

I've actually quite enjoyed today, I didn't expect that I would. I had fun, reading twilight by the Christmas tree, watching th4 Doctor Who Christmas special! I reread Aiden's text several times - Maybe a dozen, maybe more. I'm a little bit disappointed that it's all over, but it's only three hundred and sixty four days until next year's Christmas day, the most wonderful day of the year!

But for now – Merry Christmas to all, and to all good night!


	23. Chapter 23

Saturday 12th January

I am thirteen now. It is my birthday. I feel more grown up, more mature, more… ladylike. My present was perfect. Too perfect, if that makes sense. Which it doesn't. Because if something is too perfect than it isn't perfect…No, lost my train of thought.

I got a puppy. Aunt Mira actually bought me a puppy! I didn't realise that there was such an amount of goodwill inside my aunt. She had told me, "I suppose that you have already read the entries in mine and Kate's diaries on our thirteenth birthdays. I thought you'd appreciate a similar gift – just to show that I'm not totally heartless."

I have a puppy. Her name is Mia. The name is similar to Millie, my mum's dog that she got on her thirteenth birthday. I still can't believe that Aunt Mira bought me the same gift that Kate got for her thirteenth birthday. Somehow it's bringing me closer her, not sure why. But today is the final day I will write in this diary, for it is the last page in my notebook. This may sound like a very lame excuse, but if I write in a different notebook than it won't be the same. Besides, I think I have enough to look back on when I'm older. I will treasure this diary for the rest of my life, knowing that it is part of me and maybe changed my life when I was a twelve year old. But for now, I am an open book, an open diary and I am the truth. No longer will I be crushed by lies; I will have a major opportunity to live my life to the full, as Esme Daniella Corbett – As me, myself. No one will stop me, because I am a stronger human being after a tough year at Secondary school.

But I will write about one last thing before I say my farewells to my diary, which has become a very dominant part of me. I will write about Mia, like Mira and Kate did about Millie. She is such a sweet puppy, she is a chocolate Labrador. Her brown furry coat is so shiny, she is the cutest puppy ever. I used to think that no one could ever replace my little West Highland Terrier dog Sammy, but Mia seems to have filled in a hole in my heart. She is something that I can love with all my heart, something to play and work with, something that will amuse me continuously… and also something that can love **_me_** unconditionally.

Goodbye. I hope you've enjoyed learning about the ins and outs of my life, the lies that have been twined in but most importantly, the love that I share with my family, friends and boyfriend. You've been there when I needed it, for some kind of support which I can't even describe, let alone put my finger on. But I can manage for the rest of my life. I am surrounded by those that love me, and I am finally happy. Until we meet again, diary. I'll see you in years to come – Keep it real! Best wishes,

Esme Daniella Corbett

x

**THE END**


	24. EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE

"Oh my goodness, Aiden, take a look at this!" Esme, age thirty five, gasped, calling for her husband. The couple had married when they were both twenty two years old, and their lives had been extremely cheerful ever since. Aiden strolled over to Esme, peering at the old book that Esme had discovered. It was a diary. A really ancient looking diary.

Esme sat down with her husband and twin daughters, Evelyn and Rose. They certainly got on better than Esme's mother and aunt, Kate and Mira. It was the year 2035 and the twin girls were both twelve years old. They read through their mum's old diary with interest. The family had kept Mia until the day she died, when the adorable, lovely dog turned nineteen. Esme was planning to buy the girls another chocolate Labrador puppy when Evelyn and Rose turned thirteen years old, as to continue the tradition.

The family were really happy together. They were reasonably well off – what with Esme having published her first novel as a highly attributed author. The book was entitled 'The Life and Lies of Me', and was already selling incredibly well in top bookstores, including WHSmith, and Waterstones, book stores that have been up and running for many years. Even libraries were ordering tens of copies for their shelves. Aiden was doing well as an actor. He was getting quite well known in the area too. He'd worked as an extra in many major films until he went for a lead audition and the crew loved him. He would be James Bond in the new movie that was due to be in the cinemas in 2037.

As for their children, they were identical. Only their parents and best friend could tell them apart – their best friend being Zoey, Ashleigh-Rose's little girl. She was the same age as Evelyn and Rose, and they got on really well. The twins were informally known as Evie and Rosie, their preferred nicknames. The personalities of these two twelve year olds were lovely – they were a lot like their mother – kind, caring, friendly, polite – but they also showed a lot of resemblance to their father – funny, daring, outgoing and a little cheeky at times. But one thing the parents were sure of was that their daughters were beautiful. Esme said that this came from Aiden's good looks but Aiden himself disagreed, blaming their children's' beauty on Esme.

Esme and Rose were still very close friends, not letting adult life get in the way. Rose was pretty successful as an ice skating teacher. She's taught pupils that had managed to get to the World Championships – now that's something to be proud of. Rose had married a lovely man who she had met at a nightclub when she was eighteen, and things had gone superbly ever since.

Keira had moved back to America after becoming an adult an going there herself. Esme and Keira still kept in touch, but only briefly. Keira had become fully American, and although she was not married, she lived with her precious, now grown up Savannah where they both worked in movie producing studios. Keira didn't want children, she was happy enough with her career and friends.

Mollie had moved to Australia on her travels, she was on holiday when she met a guy. She ended up staying with him, and she became a marine biologist. She had always liked sea animals and fish.

As for Aunt Mira, she gave up her riches to many different charities, living in a small cottage in Cornwall, near the seaside. She was married now, and the rest of her life was enjoyable. Aunt Mira seemed to have gotten her heart back. No longer did she care about her money, she just cared about love.

Even Carly's story turned out OK. After being scouted in some amateur modelling shoots, she went worldwide and became a supermodel. When she was twenty she turned into Miss England, and then went in the running for Miss World. Carly ended up marrying a football player, living in a London mansion near King Charles. She had a daughter and a son, the daughter (Alexis) becoming a young model, following her mother's footsteps, and her son (Jayden) going to a major football training club, wanting to be like his father.

Everything was well; twenty three years after young Esme had written her diary as a little twelve year old. Esme, her family and friends all enjoyed their lives, and everyone lived happily ever after.


End file.
